You've been involved in a sinful relationship, and although you've received forgiveness from God and others who were hurt, peace still eludes you. You are deeply disappointed in yourself for letting such a relationship develop. You grieve over all the hurt you've caused, and you feel you do not deserve to be forgiven.

You need to forgive yourself.

Or perhaps you were molested as a child and can't shake the feeling that it was somehow your fault.

You need to forgive yourself.

Only as you let go of the feelings of anger and bitterness toward yourself will you be free to grow into maturity in Christ.

There are two groups of people who need to forgive themselves:

• Victims of incest, for example, often develop a false guilt which is only a deception of satan.
• Sinners who are those who have sinned against God, themselves or others.

There are reasons it is difficult to forgive yourself:

• Difficulty in accepting God's forgiveness;
• Disappointment in yourself;
• Seeing the consequences of your sin in the lives of others;
• Becoming comfortable with your sin and condemnation;
• Feeling undeserving of forgiveness; and
• Fear of repeating the sin.

Consequences of not forgiving yourself:

Self punishment;

Uncertainty--you keep heaping guilt on yourself and become uncertain of your relationship with the Lord;

Low self esteem develops. Ephesians 2:10 states that we are persons of notable excellence, His workmanship. Those for whom Jesus came in order to make them whole;

Excessive compulsive behavior may develop. For example, huge amounts of energy may be poured into a career or community service;

False humility or fake piety may develop; and

Physical illness may develop.

Ask Yourself:

• Why should I continue to condemn myself when God forgives me?
  
• Is my self condemnation helping or hindering a one-on-one relationship with God?
  
• Is my self condemnation pleasing to God?
  
• Is there a scriptural basis for condemning myself?
  
• How long shall I continue to condemn myself?

To forgive yourself of past wrongs you must:

Honestly confess past wrongs of which you are guilty. Ask yourself, "Against whom did I sin?"

Reaffirm your faith in God's promises and His forgiveness of you.

Choose, by an act of your will, to release yourself from self condemnation. Face yourself in a mirror and say, "On the basis of God's forgiveness, I here and now forgive myself."

You can now experience God's forgiveness in a new and whole way.

Adapted from Forgiveness, Charles Stanley. (1987). Thomas Nelson.

Copyright 1991, El Rophe Center, Inc.